The Bad Moms Club

Bad Moms Run On More Than Just Espresso

Yesterday, we arrived backhome from Orlando after completing our Tiarathon roadtrip (courtesy of GM Canada thankyouverymuch). Today, the word 'exhausted' doesn't even cover half of what we are feeling.

What is it about taking a vacation with children that makes one declare 'I need a vacation to recover from my vacation'? Oh right, the children.

I need a vacation.

Princesses Of The Day, Mean Girls Edition

We just got back from our GM Canada-sponsored trip to Disney World, where, contrary to expectation, we didn't commune with any princesses. Sure, Cinderella waved at us, and Snow White ambled by with her coterie of dwarfs, but the girls didn't insist upon hanging out with them, which is kind of a good thing, I guess, because seriously, have you seen this? MEAN GIRLS!

From The WTF Files: Woman Charged After Squirting Breast Milk On Deputy

This story has WTF written all over it, so I’m going to skip the preamble and dive right in: a 31-year old woman from Kentucky is facing assault charges after squirting a police officer in the face with breast milk.

Yup, you read that right. Breast milk.

Princess Of The Day: Painting With All The Colors Of The Something Or Other

Are Disney Princesses all bad? I'm on a mission to examine whether or not I can, in good feminist conscience, let me daughter squee freely over Cinderella and her ilk, so that by the time we get to Disney World, I know whether to stop worrying and love the ballgowns, or try to get Belle to read The Second Sex. Or both.

Pocahontas: she's pretty awesome, right? Independent, strong-willed, and - as my daughter says - sings the best songs of all the princesses. 

Bad Dads For The Win: Air Traffic Controller Allows Son To Direct Flights

Top brass in the U.S. are investigating an incident last month in which a young boy stepped in to his father’s shoes and directed air traffic at JKF International Airport.

Audiotape recorded the boy directing planes for take-off during a week when New York students were out of school, and the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is none too pleased.

Bad Moms Know Goblins. Maybe.

This week we (Catherine and me and our kids) are on the road courtesy of GM Canada, making our way from Toronto to Disney World in Florida to participate in the Tiarathon half-marathon to raise awareness about Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy as part of Catherine's mission to do 100 miles For Tanner.

Our girls: they are just like us. Which you know, is great and all because it means that there wasn't a mix up at the hospital and we have that wonderful legacy thing. But like us, they are fearless, opinionated, strong willed, and, oh my sweet hell, did I mention fearless? Therein lies our problem.

More From The WTF Files: Condoms Fit For Twelve-Year-Olds Hit Swiss Shelves

A new, extra-small condom is set to hit the shelves in Switzerland. Condoms that would be the right size for, say, a twelve-year-old boy.

Um, WHAT?

The nation’s Federal Commission for Children and Youth discovered kids aged 12-14 were having more sex this decade than last, but weren’t using the proper protection. In response, a condom that would be a better fit for pre-teen boys was created.

From The WTF Files: Michael Jackson’s Nephew Buys Stun Gun Online

Things recently took a turn for the crazy in the Jackson household after thirteen-year-old Jafar, one of Jermaine Jackson’s eight children, reportedly bought a stun gun off the Internet. Word on the wire was that he used his cousin Prince Michael, a.k.a. Blanket, as a target.

It’s a news story that really brings the WTF’s.

Bad Moms Love Vampires And Also The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

I realize that I'm probably the last person on earth to see the latest Old Spice commercial - you know, the one with the man your man could smell like? - but I saw it for the first time a few days ago, and I haven't stopped laughing since. Up until now I really didn't think that I'd find anything better on the 'net this week, but.

But!

Eight-Year-Old Girl Performs Lady GaGa Number On Brazilian Reality Show

Like many other girls who grew up in the 80s, I was a huge Madonna fan. For a long time, whenever my best friend came over, our favourite game to play was Desperately Seeking Susan. We used to raid my mother’s pile of old costume jewelry, clothes and makeup in an attempt to look the way Madonna and Rosanna Arquette did on the cover of my Dress You Up LP. We'd parade around the house, pretending we were in New York City, seeking desperately for Susan.

Kids emulate celebrities all the time, but sometimes it goes to far. Sometimes, it makes you wonder how much celebrity role-play is too much.